Luxury Hotels

Sybaritic Single shares his Paramount experience

The Sybaritic Single’s arrival at the Paramount Hotel Dubai wasn’t perfectly staged. But can a themed hotel ever be luxury?

The cinema DNA is well-executed throughout the hotel and its suites, whether it is the Godfather-inspired Don Corleone Suite with dark leather chesterfields, mahogany and its own cocktail bar or the stylish Silver Screen Suite in hues of sepia. And while hard product seemed solid (except rock-hard pillows), the rest was a fiasco. The heavy glamour of the lobby with tons of gold, velvet and glitter contrasted sharply with dimly lit corridors with poor signage and a cheap soap scent, disappointing dining and speakeasy bars, and surprisingly limited wellness facilities for an 823-room hotel. The list can go on and end-up being longer than the Titanic credits. Greta Garbo quietly shared the Sybaritic Single’s sadness, glaring from the lobby wall – as above.

However, the top Academy Award went to the hotel’s staff for the Worst Service of the Year, who seemed, to put it mildly, quite disoriented and uncomfortable with their roles and scripts. They could not care less to check temperature upon check-in yet referenced the pandemic whenever there was a time for yet another excuse. The only truly hard-working ones were the in-house real estate agents, who popped-up either by the pool or in the lift lobby trying to convince guests that owning one of the 1,200 apartments, that are part of the complex, was a marvellous idea.

As the Sybaritic Single attempted to catch a bit of sun by the pool, he noticed thick dark mold growing abundantly in the water. The revolting sight made him pack his trunk and arrange a prompt departure. He left behind the in-house Screening Room for 60 guests (which is said to serve Champagne and truffle arancini), an authentic Californian food truck and work spaces inspired by the Star Trek Enterprise – a cacophony of themed zones all of which seem to be out of sync. The new hotel might be a nice starlet playground, but true stars prefer authentic, non-themed luxury.