Respecting time-honored traditions, every February the Sybaritic Single heads to Monte-Carlo. He regards the principality as the most civilized two square kilometers on Earth.
This year, however, he decides to focus on wellness rather than endless Champagne and books himself for countless hours of scientific treatments at Thermes Marins – thanks to the secret corridor linking Hôtel de Paris with this oasis of health, he can walk back and forth several times a day wearing only his spa robe, away from the curious and judging eyes.
He finds skipping Champagne a challenge, especially in the morning (“What else is there for breakfast?!”), especially overlooking the casino basking in the glorious sunshine. Saying a firm no to the tempting fondue onboard Swissair first class was even more heartbreaking – especially for the well-intentioned stewardess who both attempted to speak in broken Russian and stuff her passenger with as much food as she possibly could past 3 a.m.
The Sybaritic Single also quickly realizes that the vast amounts of money carelessly dropped on millesime bubbles carry a much lower ROI than the costliest of treatments that make him look and feel better, day after day.
His therapist is puzzled when she first meets him and expresses doubts he got any fat to speak of – but the Sybaritic Single insists he needs to burn, freeze and use ultrasound against those nasty fat cells even before they are born. Prevention is better than cure.
Instantly dropping two kilos after the first two days of treatments – it worked out at just over €2,000 for each of them – is enough to reassure he’s on the right track: “It works!”
Thankfully, Alain Ducasse closed the three Michelin-starred Le Louis XV for the winter break, which means it’s just zesty Fauchon infusions, sparkling raspberry fruitillant and an occasional tin of Petrossian caviar that form the basis of his diet now.
Enjoying the final month of winter on a sunny and breezy balcony enveloped in a fluffy robe, away from the hustle and bustle of social life in the sleepy Monaco, is truly a very luxurious past-time.
